Heidi liked to write.
Heidi also liked to color with markers.
Even though she was officially a grown-up.
For some reason no one could tell, Heidi liked to share her “art” with others. On the internet.
This is Heidi’s computer.
It is a laptop. It is three months old.
It does not smell like a lemon.
It does not look like a lemon.
But Heidi thinks it is a lemon.
If you look close you can see it says this:
Heidi has had nothing but problems with her computer. Heidi wishes she had gotten a Mac, but Heidi’s husband needed to use her new computer until his new job supplied him with a new laptop and a Mac was incompatible with his software.
If you understood that sentence, Heidi is impressed.
One day Heidi was trying to scan some of her drawings.
It was not working.
Heidi was angry.
Heidi was frustrated.
Heidi was not sure why her laptop would no longer speak to three printers or a scanner.
It had become an aloof lemon.
Or why the ‘s’ sticks, turning words like “sticks” into “tick”.
Heidi has to watch carefully for ticks.
(Alternate line: It has caused Heidi to develop a tick.)
Heidi called Dell.
Dell said, “We do not wish to help you, Heidi. Please call the Geek Squad.”
Heidi called the Geek Squad.
The Geek said, “We would be happy to help you, Heidi. Please give us $200.”
Heidi became really angry.
She did not give the Geek $200. She took a nap.
Sometimes Heidi deals with her emotions like that.
She might have dreamed about doing this:
but she did not.
When she woke up her Husband asked her to go for a drive.
He drove and drove and drove.
After an hour he ended up at a fruit stand.
A fruit stand that sells only Apples.
He said, “Heidi, why don’t you buy a new laptop?”
Heidi said, “Um, ok.” And smiled really big.
The Fruit Seller said, “The new iphone just came out. Please get in line. For two hours.”
But then Heidi remembered that she is a homeschool teacher now.
That means that she qualifies for a big discount.
But she had no proof. She needed an Official Homeschooling Mama badge from the state. But she doesn’t have one yet.
So she left the line,
gave Mr. Frantic a big kiss,
and went home.
Then she remembered that as much as she wants a new laptop, she needs a new:
So she is calling the Geek Squad tomorrow.
Heidi may not have a new laptop, but she has a great husband.
And he is totally compatible with her software.