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Oh god, I love you so hard.
<3 <3 <3
I am guessing a selfie is a self portrait. And I will tell you the secret. Gravity is your friend. Look up, position the camera, and you look 10 years younger and 10 lbs thinner. Never post an ugly picture of yourself on the internet. Unless you intention is to make others feel better about themselves.
Excellent advice, my dear.
Deon is 100% correct about the angle of the selfie but maybe not so correct about not posting bad pics of yourself on the internet.
There are 2 benefits to posting bad pics:
1) When people meet you in person after having only seen a slew of terrible photos, they always say, “OMG, you’re SO PRETTY!” because they thought you were going to be hideous. Yes, it’s compliment-fishing but who cares? You get to be called pretty and you don’t even have to brush your hair or put on makeup because they’re expecting the worse anyway!
2) Not as many stalkers want to stalk you if they think you’re creepy and that makes you and your family safer. I’m an exception, of course; I’ll stalk anybody. It’s never about the looks/creepiness factor on my victims’ parts, it’s always about how delightful they are…which is why I’m always so busy. I know a LOT of delightful people. And many of them post bad pictures of themselves on the internet.
Two very good reason’s for only posting ugly pictures of yourself on the internet!
Reader. Writer. Giraffe suspicioner. I lie to children for fun and profit. Author of HOOK'S REVENGE (Disney•Hyperion, September 16, 2014) and GIRAFFES RUIN EVERYTHING (Bloomsbury Kids, 2016).
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Hook's Revenge coming 9/16/14.
Giraffes Ruin Everything coming in 2016.
For more information, including pre-order links, see my books page.
© Copyright Heidi Schulz, 2013. All Rights Reserved.